No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
