I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
how drunk are you?
Several
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
