Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
