btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
