do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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