Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
