you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
