Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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