Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
