Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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