I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
