omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
