Just mADE A PArabola og urine
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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