Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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