Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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