we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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