He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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