Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I need to sanitize my soul.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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