just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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