he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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