it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
