Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
