We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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