I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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