She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He passed out mid-signature
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
