I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
