I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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