her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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