i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
how does that bad decision feel?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
