just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
