My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
