forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
this boner is exhausting
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
