the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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