Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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