Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
