Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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