I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
