Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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