So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I love you.
Bad choice
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
