Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
