once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
