idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
