the day after is always just damage control
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
