Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
