you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
