She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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