it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
