I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
