Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
