Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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