hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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