dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
