me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
